For years I’ve struggled with despair, anger, rage, loss, anxiety, so many strong negative feelings overwhelmed my daily life. I was always on high alert expecting someone to attack me, my defenses were always up, guarding against impending danger. I never felt safe.
How could I? When the place where I was supposed to feel safe was like a war zone. I had been physically, emotionally and sexually violated. How does one heal the intense emotional pain. .The counselors I went to really did not understand what I had been through. In India, the awareness and resources to help one cope with child abuse is practically zero.
After going through numerous articles and books, the terms that kept popping up with regard to recovery and healing, were support, understanding, love and care. In fact the west is only now waking up to the fact that mental illness is not due to chemical imbalances or a genetic flaw. A lie promoted by the Big Pharma to boost their profits. After years of being on a cocktail of drugs instead of getting better a person gets worse. Thankfully, I only went that route very briefly.
M.Scott Peck in his best-selling book, The Road Less Travelled has this to say about emotional healing ‘For the most part, mental illness is caused by an absence of love that a particular child required from its particular parents for successful maturation and spiritual growth. It is obvious then, that in order to be healed through psychotherapy the patient must receive from the psychotherapist at least a portion of the genuine love of which the patient was deprived. If the psychotherapist cannot genuinely love a patient, genuine healing will not occur. No matter how well credentialed and trained psychotherapists may be, if they cannot extend themselves through love to their patients the results of their psychotherapeutic practice will be generally unsuccessful. Conversely, a totally uncredentialed and minimally trained lay therapist who exercises a great capacity to love will achieve psychotherapeutic results that equal those of the very best psychotherapists.’
Michael Cornwall says ‘I don’t believe in mental illness. I believe we are sovereign souls that should not be imprisoned or be given forced treatments or offered any treatments that do us ANY harm when we are suffering human emotional suffering and madness. I believe we should be given respect, love and compassion.’
So, why do we keep on with the pretentious statements of healing mental illness with better facilities when the crucial facility for being mentally healthy is what we must all have – loving care from our family. Ironically, I grew up in a family who are followers of a Man who gave his greatest commandment ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’
Since the last one year I have been in recovery from (C-PSTD). It took me a long time to understand and accept the fact that it is not my fault, I was not bad. The problem was my toxic family. My first step to healing was taking care of myself, my needs, not thinking it is selfish to care about myself. I have used the following guided meditations to help me heal my wounded heart and begin to feel love for myself:
Self Love Meditation
Loving Self Compassion
Heart Chakra Meditation – Karunesh
HeartWave Meditation – iAwake
Watching this video fills me with that warm loving feeling.
(Lift me up slowly)
(Carry me boldly)
(Show me you care)
Unfortunately, today love has been transformed into the narcissist child of
St.Valentine glossed by the media and marketed by business enterprises to increase their profits. Unless we have the experience of loving parents, a nurturing family, a caring society we are doomed to become a mad, mad world.