The flimsy reason given by Sherin’s adopted father that he “had been trying to get the 3 year old girl to drink her milk in the garage” and “Wesley Mathews said she wouldn’t listen to him. Further his affidavit states, Mathews said he “physically assisted” Sherin in drinking the milk. “The 3 year old child began to choke. She was coughing and her breathing slowed. Eventually, Wesley Mathews no longer felt a pulse on the child and believed she had died,”. As a mother the following questions have arisen in my mind.
1) Why was Sherin Mathews really adopted? Was it to provide her with the love of a family or to be help-mate for their biological daughter?
2) When Sherin was adopted were Mr & Mrs Mathews aware of her developmental difficulties? And if so, did they try to seek extra assistance to help her overcome her difficulties?
3) Were the Mathews aware that children who have been adopted after a history of gross neglect and abandonment tend to suffer of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) So what was termed as developmental issues and limited verbal communication skills were really the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sensory Processing Dysfunction etc mainly arising from the early childhood deprivation, neglect and abuse that causes attachment problems.
4) Did they treat both the kids fairly or was the biological child treated better? Children with RAD are very jealous of attention given to other siblings, they will whine, cling, hit, chatter, to monopolize Mom’s attention – again, insecure or anxious attachment. Was Mrs Mathews tired of having to deal with Shirin’s incessant demands that she put on ear-plugs, locked her bed-room door and slept through the horror that was being played in her home.
5) Why was the adopted father forcing a child to drink milk at that unearthly hour in the morning. Even if she needed to have extra nourishment, isn’t 3 am a time when any sane person is in bed. I can quite understand a child waking up and asking for milk, which it will happily drink up. But forcing a child to drink milk at that ungodly hour, seems wierd and downright sinister. And, infact her caregiver at the adoption home Babitha Kumari of Nalanda Mother Teresa Anatha Seva Ashram, said, “The child had no problem at all when she was here, neither in drinking milk or eating,”
6) While Mr Mathews was definitely creating a storm about little Sherin’s disobiedence, which definitely could not have been a silent affair, Mum Mathews was fast asleep, is it possible?
7) When did Mum Mathews actually wake up from her beauty sleep and what did she do when she realized that her other daughter was not around?
8) Why did she not take an active role in searching for her adopted daughter Her parents both remained “uncooperative,” according to police….
9) Why didn’t Wesley Mathews not wake up his nurse wife when Sherin was choking to death? And why did Mr Mathews not call 911, which is the normal reaction to save the life of a loved one?
10) Why did Wesley Mathews dispose off the body? Was he trying to hide his crime and did his wife know about his actions?
Why indeed, so many unanswered questions and only the adopted parents could give answers. Maybe, their 4 year old biological daughter will throw some light on her parents behaviour and attitudes. Raising kids is the most difficult job in the world, particularly kids who are not your own. It takes loving care and patience. Which of us parents have not lost it, when our kids just want to have their way, will not do something they need to do, will not listen to us, will defy us, oh and the umpteen times we have to control, control, control our anger, irritation, our hands and our tongues. Becoming a parent means not becoming a control freak, it means letting go and letting be. After nearly 17 years of being a mother, I am nearly reached the stage of tranquil bliss. Yes, parenting is an alchemy of transformation not only for your child but also for you. The end result could be pure gold.
In memory of Sherin – Sweet Child of Mine ( By Guns n Roses )
She’s got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I’d stare too long
I’d probably break down and cry
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o’ mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine