Most illnesses are due to one single reason. Failing to honor who we really are. We are in a state of dis-ease because we are not at ease with who we are. In today’s world, we all have to put on masks to succeed. We cannot express our opinions or needs. We have to be perfect. Being different is unacceptable.
However, if one goes on pretending to be or act that is the opposite of what one is really feeling it is bound to affect us negatively. The famous writer Boris Pasternak has this to say on pretending “Your health is bound to be affected by it if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, you grovel before what you dislike and rejoice at what bring brings you nothing but misfortune. Our nervous system isn’t just a fiction, it’s part of our physical body, and our soul exists in space and is inside us, like teeth in our mouth. It can’t be forever violated with impunity.”
Begining of Pretense
One of the greatest joys is watching a securely attached young child uninhibitedly explore and interact with his environment. He will look at you with open wide-eyed wonder, questioning you and testing his boundaries. Unfortunately, this phase does not last long. The ever perfect parent will try to make their precious baby fit into the grand scheme of the adult world. So that mummy and daddy are envied by one and all. The helpless child is forced to be the best athlete or the top student in order to be loved and accepted. What if a child protests against this repressing of his true self. He admonished for being bad.
Practically, all of us grow up having to toe the line at some point. Till we reach the state where we either don’t know what it is we really want. Or we become too afraid to explore for what we want. I remember after my mother died I had to become something I was not. I had to twist myself to accommodate the needs and wishes of my family. The consequences were disastrous to my mental and physical health.
Shoved Down The Throat
When we stop expressing our needs and repress our truth our throat chakra gets blocked. In the Indian chakra system, the throat chakra is important in maintaining our health. When you are forced to be accommodating and not express your feelings your throat chakra becomes dysfunctional and creates a feeling of discomfort in our lives, We bite our lips, and hide the truth or embellish the truth. We pretend, we lie and deceive mostly ourselves. According to Brené Brown: “If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.”
According to Brené Brown, the famous research professor at the University of Houston becoming authentic is not easy. It takes courage to vulnerably express who we truly are. We have to learn to overcome our past indoctrination that we are imperfect and need to pretend to be something that is more acceptable. Believing that I am worthy, this is me and if you don’t like who I am you can just get out of my way. The key to becoming authentic is not giving a damn what others think and living your truth.
How to Start Living in the Truth of Who You Are | Iyanla Vanzant
Being a fake, pretending and suppressing your truth makes you weak. When you stop believing in your worth, you will have trouble maintaining your sense of reality. You need to change this negative programming. First, start by saying to yourself what you really want. Practice out loud to yourself in front of the mirror. Listen to positive affirmations and guided meditations. Write down your feelings and acknowledge your desires. Slowly practice the art of being vulnerable to people close to you.
Believe me, if they don’t accept you with all your imperfections, you are better off letting them go and finding people who really want and appreciate the actual YOU.