Kellyanne Conway’s daughter Claudia called out her parents for failing to care and pay attention to their kids. In her rage-filled social media rants, she announced she is seeking emancipation from her parents – Kelllyanne and George Conway. She claimed they were abusive and not interested in her. This public airing of the family dysfunction caused much derision and amusement. The highly divisive media outlets went into a frenzy about Trump’s influence.
Sadly, all but a few understand the corrosive dynamics of parental strife and its effects on the children.
As a mother, I could only feel such deep sadness about the sorry state of parent-child dysfunction. It is heartbreaking to see 15-year old feel such anger and resentment towards both her parents.
I don’t think she really gives a damn about the political situation or who will win the elections. Getting her parents’ attention is all she is interested in. And, thankfully she got it. Both have decided to step down from their respective jobs. Which, unfortunately, are at two extreme ends of the totem pole – the mother a senior White House advisor and unequivocal supporter of Trump and the father a hate-spewing co-founder of the Lincoln Project. a super-PAC dedicated to defeating Donald Trump in 2020.
Clash of the Titans
Life in the palatial home of the Conways must be one crazy-making battleground. It must a Clash of the Titans every day the couple is together. It must have been so confusing dealing with two warring parents. Particularly, since at one time both parents were backing the same horse. Then the father, George Conway had a change of heart went on attack mode.
There was no middle ground here the attacks and counter-attacks were incessant and vicious. It seemed so childish and arcane.George publicly mocking and insulting his spouse’s boss. All the while Kellyanne refused to buckle down in her support and loyalty to Trump.
George has stated, “[I tweet] so I can get it off my chest and move on with my life that day … Frankly, it’s so I don’t end up screaming at her about it.”
Kellyanne attributes her husband’s animosity due to him feeling she chose Donald Trump over him. This she refutes saying ‘One is my work and one is my marriage.’
Parenthood- A Career Choice
Both parents in their unrelenting drive to stay on top of their game refused to back down in their respective stands. It is traumatizing for kids to watch their parents fight and argue with each other. But reading about their ongoing disagreements over a man who only wants what is best for himself must be simply bewildering.
I remember while at my job in a residential school, I was offered a more lucrative option, I politely turned it down. Since it meant staying in the office late or till the boss was arund. The whole idea of joining a residential school was being back asap in the evenings when my son returned from school. It was no sacrifice, my son was my priority. Motherhood was my career choice. Growing up with just me, my son did not have any other emotional support systems. I had to be available.
Child development expert Dr. Gabor Maté has this to say on parenthood,
‘Whatever life-goals you have put them on hold. Making a child’s comfort and happiness security their priority creates an environment that is connected and secure and nurturing.’
This is the foundation of a person’s mental and physical well-being.
Attention Seeking Acting Out
Poor Claudia must have felt so isolated growing up around two ultra-busy and warring parents.Her father going out of his way to undermine her mother’s job and publicly air his antagonism. It must have been devastating and shameful. I can only imagine having to deal with the smirks of one’s peers over her parents divided loyalties.
Like most children, she may have tried to arbitrate her parents’ disputes. The 15-year-old has shared that she and her parents argued about politics “all the time” and she felt consistently “shut down by [her] entire family.
Finally, fed up the teen resorted to the only way to get her parents’ attention. by acting out and shaming them both.
She shares her angst in her tweets with regards to her mother:
‘my mother’s job ruined my life, to begin with. heartbreaking that she continues to go down that path after years of watching her children suffer. selfish. it’s all about money and fame.’
She called out her father’s lack of interest in her in a video clip she complained:
‘My dad doesn’t care about me, he’s never cared about me, he probably doesn’t even know my middle name.‘
The incessent blitz of social media activity on Twitter, Youtube, and Tik-Tok finally got her parents’attention.
Both parents decided to put their respective careers on hold and focus on their children.
On August 23, 2020, Kellyanne announced her resignation in order to “spend more time with her family, as did her husband George, who announced he’d take time off from the Lincoln Project and Twitter.
This must have been reassuring news for Claudia and her siblings. Finally, their home will no longer be a stress-filled battleground.
But as Marianne Williamson says, ‘Pretty sad that the only way the child could get attention was to flame her mom on the internet.’
How Not To Screw Up Your Kids – Gabor Maté
Rebuilding the Parent-Child Relationship
Notwithstanding, whatever happened in the past both can learn to be good enough parents and repair the rupture. Going by Cladia’s Instagram post on Mother’s Day, the damage is not too deep. Though, it will take some hard work to salvage and rebuild the broken parent-child relationship.
First, they will need to learn mutual respect and honest communication. Parents need to understand that their kids have needs and feelings. That their kids need their presence more than anything else in the world
But there cannot be any manipulation if there is going to be any real happiness. Like Claudia, again took to social media claiming credit for her parents’ recent announcement:’Look at what I did!’
Hopefully, Claudia will understand her parents’ sacrifice as she grows up. And not use their compliance as a yardstick for getting her way in life in adulthood.
Time-in Parenting – Otto Weininger