Healing from scoliosis for me has meant healing from childhood trauma. As the frozen emotions in my subconscious mind come to the surface, I am able to process and let go of the pain, anger, and feeling of woundedness.
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Moreover, my back has gotten straighter without a brace or chiropractic manipulations, massage or any of the many myriad scoliosis therapies available. I have been able to heal my scoliosis by releasing the repressed emotions in my mind.
Yes, healing scoliosis begins with the mind.
How does one release emotions that are buried deep within our subconscious? It is not easy to uncover the painful memories that happened years ago.
In my earlier post, I had mentioned that psychedelics help one uncover buried subconscious material. However, all the psychedelics which are purported to help get deep into the mind are illegal and banned.
Theta Brain Waves
On researching, I stumbled on sound healing and theta brain waves. Theta waves (3 to 8 Hz). In this state, our senses are withdrawn from the external world and focused on signals originating from within. It allows you to connect with your subconscious mind. The part of your mind controlling your autonomic body functions, emotions, and memory.
Brainwave expert Anna Wise describes theta brain waves:
“something pushing at you from within, some kind of knowledge that wants to get out but is locked away deep within the recesses of your psyche.”
Fear-Freeze Brain State
Recently, scientists have identified the brain’s fear-freeze frequency i.e. 4 Hz which incidentally also borders the theta state. Freezing behavior is widely used as a standard measure of fear memory.
In this state one’s dorsal vagal parasympathetic nervous system takes control. It causes freezing or shutdown, as a form of self-preservation.
It is not uncommon to faint or go limp and feel nothing in this state. In this condition, one is emotionally dissociated and numb while feeling dizzy and feeling ashamed.
This was the state I was in when I was accused by my aunt of trying to seduce her husband. The shock, the fear, shame, and helplessness. I was unable to fight back and protest. Neither could I tell them to fuck off because my mother was dead and my father was abusive.
I just froze. Having a woman’s body was dangerous. Scoliosis became my protective armor. Emotionally and physically, my development was arrested at age 13 years.
Trauma & Illness Activation
Christian Flèche, a leading researcher and practitioner in the field of biogenealogy, explains:
“activation of illness” is the body’s reaction to unresolved events that are frozen in time. These unresolved traumas affect the body on the cellular level and manifest in minor as well as more serious chronic conditions.”
In his The Biogenealogy Sourcebook he states this about scoliosis which is right on the dot in my case, ”When the curvature creates a hollow on the right side of the lumbar spine in a young woman on the verge of adulthood, she may have a fear of being judged by men.”
Theta State, Childhood & Unconscious
As children, we are mostly in the theta state. However, as we grow up we shift to being more in the beta state. This shuts access to our subconscious mind. Our traumatic memories get locked up.
Even though we may not remember our traumas, our lives are directed by them. They affect us in destructive ways. We continue to behave in the same dysfunctional ways even though the threat is no longer present. This has a detrimental effect on our present life – social and professional.
Moreover, we no longer behave in accordance with the present situation. And are stuck in our fear state, over-reacting or dissociating. We just don’t know what it is that drives us to weird behaviors and reactions. We are like automatons, programmed to act in ways that jeopardize not just our well-being but those of our close ones. And we have no clue why?
Carl Jung has said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Theta Sound Healing
It was my synchronous luck that I just happened to come across Kelly Howell’s Prayer a Guided Meditation, after listening to this audio I felt so relaxed and renewed. Something I had not felt in a long time. It was my ‘aha moment’ – that I could change the state on my mind.
Since then I have taken leave from the daily stresses of life, job, socializing, etc and have focused on my healing. Gradually, the mental turmoil has dissipated and a feeling of calmness fills me. As a result, I sense my mind-body being balanced and in a state of equilibrium.
Theta sound music has helped me go deep within myself, I am able to feel my emotions and remember the trauma. It comes in bits and pieces. It feels like I am witnessing a movie, where even though I know it is me in that situation, it is not my current self.
Trauma Memories & Healing
With the resurfacing of my trauma memories, I feel parts of my brain being literally released. Some days, I could actually feel pain in my head, as though something is pulling apart. When finally it is released I feel a deep physical and emotional relief.
Releasing the repressed fear, shame, anger and hopeless has unfrozen me emotionally and physically. That feeling of being stuck in a time zone. And feeling like a child. being a 13-year-old in an adult world sucked.
Feeling safe to become a woman has been my biggest challenge.
Other Ways To Get Into Theta
You don’t need music or psychedelics to get into a relaxed state. You can get there via meditation, or through engaging in acts of loving-kindness, sensory deprivation tanks or just mindfulness in your present – deep focusing and doing.
More and more I am able to get into the alpha-theta state, while I am taking a bath or cooking, cleaning, and writing. Yup, writing is very therapeutic and relaxing. I move effortlessly move into my flow state.
Theta brain waves are healing because they allow you to relive long forgotten traumas without the knee-jerk, emotional triggers. Even though painful memories are dredged up it feels like one is watching a movie of one’s life. Is this what they say happens when we die, images of our lives flash by us.
Yes, healing is akin to dying, the death of the old false self to a new, healthy, authentic and enlightened being.
The Biogenealogy Sourcebook: Healing the Body by Resolving Traumas of the Past by Christian Flèche