--- title: How Love Gives Your Child A Strong Heart date: 2018-07-21T14:26:55Z modified: 2024-07-02T15:14:55Z permalink: "https://mindkindmom.com/how-love-gives-your-child-a-strong-heart/" type: post status: publish excerpt: "" wpid: 2067 categories: - Child Care & Parenting - Mind, Body & Spirit tags: - Child Care & Parenting - Mind, Body & Spirit - Body - brain - Child - Parenting - Psychology featured_image: "https://i.imgur.com/sJFdmP0.jpg" featured_image_alt: How Love Gives Your Child A Strong Heart timestamp: 2024-07-02T15:14:55Z --- Babies need to be held close and cuddled to thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally. They need the love of their primary caregiver, namely their mother. According to Professor Allan Schore, being [securely attached](https://mindkindmom.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/forget-breastfeeding-focus-on-attachment.md) and bonded in love is the cornerstone of one’s mental well-being. Increasingly, studies have proved that emotional health impacts our physical health. ![love heart oxytocin love hormone caring mother parenting attachment](https://i.imgur.com/sJFdmP0.jpg) **Being loved and accepted by one’s parents is the best health vitamin**### What Attachment Does A newborn baby’s brain is neurally underdeveloped. It does not have the capacity to self-soothe. However, a baby learns this with the help of an emotionally attuned caregiver/mother. Her response to her baby’s needs and cries of distress wires the emotional circuits of the brain. Through this dance of limbic resonance, gradually, a baby learns to self-soothe. Over time by being securely attached a baby is able to internalize his mother and feel safe, confident, and loved. Loving attachment to a parent/parents defines a child’s internal reality and influences his relationship with the outside world. Attachment penetrates the neural core of what it means to be a human being. When the attachment bond is ruptured a baby becomes distressed leading to increased heart rate and body temperature. This is a precursor of future [stress susceptibility](https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/chronic-illness-and-invisible-aces-adverse-childhood-experiences/) in a human being. ### Cortisol And Your Child Studies have shown that disrupted bonding can have a devastating impact on the neurobiology and ultimately the mental health of a child. When a child does not feel securely attached he becomes [distressed and fearfu](https://www.neuropsychotherapist.com/attachment-styles/)l which in turn leads to a high heart rate and increased cortisol levels. The hormone cortisol is released in response to stress. Studies suggest that the high levels of cortisol from long-term stress can increase blood cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood pressure. Cortisol’s effects on [cardiovascular risk](http://drchristianson.com/9-proven-ways-cortisol-causes-heart-disease-and-the-solutions/) have been well documented. Moreover, [prolonged stress](https://www.albertafamilywellness.org/what-we-know/stress/#:~:text=Toxic%20stress%20can%20harm%20the,it's%20important%20to%20intervene%20early.) in young children can retard both brain development and physical growth. Increased levels of cortisol can cause long-term damage to the developing brain and negatively affect the immune system. ### How Oxytocin Stops Cortisol When one feels love, oxytocin, the love hormone is released into the body. Oxytocin triggers the release of a neurochemical called [GABA.](https://mindkindmom.com/wp-content/uploads/wp-mfa-exports/post/feeling-stressed-and-anxious-blame-it-on-gaba.md) As a neurotransmitter, GABA turns off certain activities in the brain that get triggered by stress. Warm, safe touch anywhere that feels comfortable on our body can release oxytocin. When a mother loves her baby deeply and bonds with it, she gives the gift of feeling loved inside to her baby, called “[**emotional object constancy**](https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-is-object-constancy-and-how-does-it-affect-people/).” This internalized feeling of being loved even when one is alone is the cornerstone of mental health. Disrupted object constancy makes for an overwhelming and frightening experience of the world in adulthood leading to anxiety and stress. On a neural level, knowing that you are loved and cherished facilitates a down-regulation of the fear response by initiating a neuropeptide (oxytocin and prolactin) release. An ensuing cascade of chemicals, calm the child and inhibit the formation of negative memory. This reinforces neurophysiological circuits that will later influence emotional regulation and well-being. Indeed,[ oxytocin stabilizes our blood pressure](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0079612302390241) as well as heart rate when one is stressed. In short, love helps override survival emotions by preventing chronic high levels of _cortisol_ in the body. ### Love And Heart Coherence Further, when we experience [uplifting emotions](https://www.heartmath.com/science/) such as appreciation, joy, care, and love; our heart rhythm pattern becomes highly ordered, harmonious wave This is called a coherent heart rhythm pattern. During a coherent heart rhythm, the activity in the two branches of the [ANS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomic_nervous_system) is synchronized. Our body’s systems operate with increased efficiency and harmony. We feel good about ourselves and the world. And are filled with confidence to explore and engage. ### Love Develops Strong Hearts Being loved directly impacts a child’s self-confidence. This feeling builds the strength of heart and courage to explore and leave the confines of one’s safe space. Attachment makes kids[ independent](https://www.mother.ly/child/you-cant-love-too-much-attachment-doesnt-slow-growth-it-fuels-it). Knowing that they are valued satisfies their primal need for love, validation, and self-soothing. They are free to focus on exploring, experimenting and enjoying themselves. The path to developing courage and a strong heart literally is by loving our kids without any borders. We make them independent by fulfilling their dependency needs. Love is the magic potion that builds a child emotionally. Moreover, it actually protects your child’s heart from any stress-related damage. Strong hearts are filled with love. #### Image Source: [Pixabay](https://pixabay.com) ## **Further Reading:** [Building Healthy Minds: The Six Experiences That Create Intelligence And Emotional Growth In Babies](http://amzn.to/2rmrzFk) – Nancy Lewis [Scattered Minds: A New Look At The Origins And Healing Of Attention Deficit Disorder](http://amzn.to/2selleT) – Gabor Mate [The Irreducible Needs Of Children: What Every Child Must Have To Grow, Learn, And Flourish](http://amzn.to/2setsbo) – Stanley Greenspan [The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Showing-Up-Parental-Presence/dp/1524797715/ref=as_li_ss_tl?crid=1ACNPES7V2R3T&keywords=daniel+siegel&qid=1573159694&s=books&sprefix=daniel+sie,stripbooks-intl-ship,483&sr=1-7&linkCode=ll1&tag=mindkind-20&linkId=a46fb4ac5d434495a764af562ac8933b&language=en_US) – Daniel Siegel [The Developing Mind, Second Edition: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are](https://www.amazon.com/Developing-Mind-Second-Relationships-Interact/dp/1462520677/ref=as_li_ss_tl?crid=1ACNPES7V2R3T&keywords=daniel+siegel&qid=1573160169&s=books&sprefix=daniel+sie,stripbooks-intl-ship,483&sr=1-6&linkCode=ll1&tag=mindkind-20&linkId=ae23373a74fc4d82bfd107840ed6c7ff&language=en_US) – Daniel Siegel [The Anatomy of Dependence](https://amzn.to/3CS4WAk) – Takeo Doi