Today is Mother’s Day and I am trying not to feel sad. But inevitably the memories of what I missed when my mother died makes me want to cry.
Cancer took my mother when I was quite young. At 11, I still needed her. Life for me changed dramatically, it was split into two parts. Before when her death when I was in heaven and after my mother’s death when I felt I was flung into hell. From being loved and cherished, to being a nuisance and abused.
But I am grateful for the brief time with her though. Since I was 3 years, my mother knew she had cancer. It must have been hard to have had a double mastectomy at the young age of 33. To know she may die soon. That she would not be there to see her children grow up.
It must have taken great courage to get on with living life. I don’t ever remember her wailing or berating her fate. After the operation, she returned to work and continued with normal life – cooking, shopping, taking us for holidays and to the movies.
I Want A Mom That’ll Last Forever
Cancer Strikes Again
For the next 5 years, I lived a carefree life till once again cancer invaded, her uterus and she had to undergo a hysterectomy with chemotherapy thrown in. From then on she was on a decline. But even then I don’t remember her lamenting about her bad fortune.
My mother continued to do what she enjoyed, like going out to eat her favorite foods. When she felt like it, she would just get my brother and myself dressed and off the 3 of us would go traipsing by bus and train just to eat her favorite Indian chats – Bhelpuri and Pani Puri. That is the one poignant memory of my mother, that despite what the situation is you should continue to do things that you love.
My mother’s greatest lesson to me was ‘Life is short, have fun and enjoy it while it lasts.’
Those fun memories with my mother have sustained me during my dark times.
Steve Jobs said “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices of life.”