With all the brouhaha going on about the 20th death anniversary of Princess Diana, I can’t but help feel a wee bit nostalgic about my own mom’s death. Her sons Prince William and Prince Harry have been all over the media reminiscing how theirs was a mum in a million who gave the princes the perfect childhood. Every child who is lucky enough to have a good enough mother feels that their mom is one in a million. However, swallowing an overdose of sugary sentimentality of two adult men makes me feel uncomfortable.
Having lost my mother at around the same age they were, I know it hurts no matter how many years pass by. Losing a parent when one is still a child is one of the most painful things to have to live with, the pain of the loss may subside by you never lose the memory of the moment when your life was split in two parts, before her death and after her death. Kids who lose parents still grieve as adults. The feeling of loss, never goes away. However, if one is lucky then the extended family and friends step in and do a good enough job of meeting the child’s needs. In the Princes case both their father and grandmother stepped in and supported them and helped them grow into fine young men. And now they are going on about their loss of their mother fueling the media frenzy of re-thrashing the past and feeding bits of their dead mother to the vultures.
I used to adore Diana as a school girl and then when she had her lovely kids my admiration for her grew even more. What a beautiful and caring mother she was. Then she divorced and I loved her even more and felt truly sorry for her. Being her ardent fan I followed her every move, so the revulsion I felt when I saw her publicly cavorting with a man so unsuitable is something I never got over. I could no longer keep her up my pedestal. I felt disgusted, what kind of mother so flagrantly displays her affair with someone who was a big embarrassment to the family, and particularly her kids. Prince William and Prince Harry talk supposedly very openly about what a great mother she was, but as adult men, the should acknowledge that their mother was no saint and stop portraying her as one. After becoming a mother I think twice about my actions and strive do my best not to embarrass my son. As parents it is our duty to our kids. But sadly, Princess Diana did not think of her young sons when she openly went about her dalliance, maybe if she did, today she may have been alive.
In all their tributes to their mother, the Princes never once express gratitude for the people who held their hands and supported them through their dark days. Yes, loss and sadness is inevitable after losing one’s mother but resilience to carry on comes from the support and compassion extended to us by the people who continue to inhabit our bereaved world. So Prince William and Prince Harry, do say a thank you to your father, grandmother and all those caring family members and friends who were with you after your mother died. Believe me life would have been hell lot more difficult if you had an abusive father or uncaring grandmothers like mine.