With all the brouhaha going on about the 20th death anniversary of Princess Diana, I can’t but help feel a wee bit nostalgic about my own mom’s death. Her sons Prince William and Prince Harry have been all over the media reminiscing how theirs was a mum in a million who gave the princes the perfect childhood.
Every child who is lucky enough to have a good enough mother feels that their mom is one in a million. However, swallowing an overdose of sugary sentimentality of two adult men makes me feel uncomfortable.
Death of a Parent in Childhood
Having lost my mother at around the same age they were, I know it hurts no matter how many years pass by. Losing a parent when one is still a child is one of the most painful things to have to live with. The pain of the loss may ease a bit. However, you never lose the memory of the moment when your life was split into two parts, before her death, and after her death.
Kids who lose parents still grieve like adults. The feeling of loss never goes away.
However, if one is lucky then the extended family and friends step in and do a good enough job of meeting the child’s needs. In the Princes’ case both their father and grandmother stepped in and supported them and helped them grow into fine young men. And now they are going on about their loss of their mother fueling the media frenzy of re-thrashing the past and feeding bits of their dead mother to the vultures.
Princess Diana Style Icon
I used to adore Princess Diana when a schoolgirl and when she had her lovely kids my admiration for her grew even more. What a beautiful and caring mother she was. After she divorced, I rooted for her even more. That horrible, mean husband Prince Charles, a real cad – having a mistress. I felt truly sorry for her.
Being her ardent fan I followed her every move. With growing revulsion and dismay I saw her publicly cavorting with a man so unsuitable – I never got over that feeling of betrayal. My idol had let me down. I could no longer revere someone so blatantly unconcerned about her kids’ feelings. How could Diana be so insensitive to how her behavior would deeply affect her children’s self-esteem.
There is nothing worse than having to go to school and knowing your peers are gossiping about your mother’s escapades. Being royal does not shield you against internal shame.
Your Adored Mother Embarrassing You on the World Stage
Bad Parental Behavior
I felt disgusted, what kind of mother so flagrantly displays her affair with someone who was a big embarrassment to the family, particularly her kids. Prince William and Prince Harry talk supposedly very openly about what a great mother she was, but as adult men, the should acknowledge that their mother was no saint and stop portraying her as one.
After becoming a mother I think twice about my actions and strive to do my best not to embarrass my son. As parents, it is our duty to our kids. But sadly, Princess Diana did not think of her young sons when she openly went about her dalliance, maybe if she did, today she may have been alive.
Family Support Helps a Grieving Child
In all their tributes to their mother, the Princes never once express gratitude for the people who held their hands and supported them through their dark days. Yes, loss and sadness are inevitable after losing one’s mother but resilience to carry on comes from the support and compassion extended to us by the people who continue to inhabit our bereaved world.
So Prince William and Prince Harry, do say a thank you to your father, grandmother and all those caring family members and friends who were with you after your mother died. Believe me, life would have been a hell lot more difficult if you had an abusive father or uncaring grandmothers like mine.