Good memories are that little magical box we go to when we need an emotional boost. Those moments when remembered warms our heart and tickles our soul. Memories that may seem trivial but the recollection of them unfailingly lifts us out of our despondency and despair.
They are that embedded feeling that life is fun, joyful and good. A person who has had a childhood filled with those experiences will usually have a sunny disposition. Every parent is can create these memorable memories with their kids with a little awareness and effort on their part. Further, creating those tiny, impromptu, fun times that invariably get logged into their child’s mental make-up are what shape, their personalities and their view of their world.
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My Childhood Fun Memories
After my mother died, life was difficult. The constant reality of having to deal with abuse, meanness, indifference, and neglect. I changed me from a happy joyful girl to one depressed and suicidal. However, it was the fun times I earlier had with my Mom that helped me overcome my dark times. I would remember the crazy, silly things we did together that invariably lightened my mood. My memories of joy were numerous and recollection of them would shift my brain’s depressive phase.
My favorite memory was the time we went up on our tiny terrace, which could be reached by a precarious step ladder and had our dinner there, sharing stories, laughing and playing games. It was magical. Even today I can still close my eyes and remember that time. Or the time when even though my mother was dying of cancer, she dressed us up and off we went to our favorite fast-food restaurant to eat our favorite snacks.
Those moments when there was no agenda, no great drama, just fun, enjoyment, the sheer feeling of being enveloped in a cloak of carefree warmth. We were all one in the spirit of the moment.
Creating Lasting Memories
So how does a parent create memories that are memorable for their child? Those defining moments in their lives that will shape their view of themselves and their world. Even though many of these moments are the result of accident or luck, we as parents can try to create memories that will last a lifetime
1) Not following the Rules or Change of Routines
These days there is so much structure in our kids’ lives. They have to do this thing and that thing. They need to go to classes and extra classes. So sometimes you just need to cut them some slack, just exit this unending grind and just chill. You need to simply forget about the daily routine and do something unexpected and fun. Simply playing a game where everyone cheats or letting them have whatever they want for dinner or deciding to go for that movie that they wanted to or taking an unexpected trip. These are sure ways to move out of the ordinary, humdrum existence of daily life.
2) Defining Magical Moments
When my son was little I was a little undecided as to whether to perpetuate the belief in Santa Claus. But then I decided that magic and fairy tales is a sure way to make kids believe anything is possible. I recollect the Christmas when he was 5 years and he received a much longed for cricket bat from Santa. It was pure magic for him, his wonderment shone in his eyes, the probability of the unexpected. Though we now laugh at his innocence and incredibility. It was the magic of Santa that shaped his thinking of the possibilities of the unknown. The belief that miracles do happen. And believe me, we all need that to live this life.
3) Moments of Connection
All of us remember those times of general bonhomie, when we chatted, laughed and shared. When we felt a deep connection and empathetic bond. The times when we may have been affectionately teased. Or when we just shared our feelings and hurts and were listened to, accepted and understood.
Those times when you didn’t have to act and pretend. When you just put your legs up and were indulged and pampered. When your mother unexpectedly fulfilled a promise which was not up for gratification yet. Or when your aunt gave you a beautiful dress for no reason at all. Or your dad cooked your favorite pasta dish because you desperately wanted to eat pasta.
Those moments when you felt beautifully cherished and loved. In Japan, there is the concept of “amae”. The feeling of being loved and indulged by your parents for just no reason. It is a powerful feeling a parent can give a child. This is the basis of their self-esteem and confidence.
Responsible parenting: Create memories, not expectations | TED Talk -Austeja Landsbergiene
A parent can be the magician in their child’s life. Creating memories that were fun and joyful, times when they felt understood and loved. Good memories are the building blocks, the core of who a person is. They are a person’s reference point A good memory is like a magic button which you press play to get your mind back to a positive reset. A childhood filled with good memories is one of the best gifts a parent can give a child. Start today.