Many who have been sexually violated and abused rarely report the assault to anyone. They are overwhelmed with feelings of fear and shame. Fear of being judged and the shame of being branded as the slut who probably instigated it.
For every one survivor who makes a complaint, there are 10 others who have a #WhyIDidntReport story.
False Sexual Accusations
Sexual abuse is damaging but false sexual accusations are devastating.
In today’s #MeToo climate, just an accusation is enough to condemn a person guilty. There is no due process and a person’s life could be destroyed forever.
I know the despair of being falsely accused. My aunt accused me, a 13-year-old of trying to seduce my uncle (her husband). This was totally untrue. My aunt couldn’t confront her husband of his lust so she took the easy way out. To blame and destroy someone because that was easier. Rather than facing the fact that her husband had a roving eye, the narcissist aunt wanted a scapegoat – I happened to be the vulnerable patsy.
Till today, no one believes me. The damage my aunt did by her false accusations destroyed me. I am still carrying that legacy to this day.
Judge Kavanaugh & The Psychologist, Whom To Believe
Recently, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford accused Supreme Court nominee Bret Kavanaugh of sexually molesting her. As a woman who has experienced sexual abuse, I understand the terrible wounding this does to one’s psyche.
Given the political ramifications of her exposé, people are divided in their opinions. Whom to believe? How does one determine the veracity of the facts?
Something that happened 36 years ago. Furthermore, both were minors, she was 15 and he was 17. Both were under the blurring influence of alcohol and adolescent hormones.
Why was Ford so afraid of telling her parents and reporting this to the police? Was she confused about the incident or who it was?
Another question that bothers me, is – How could Dr. Ford a research psychologist who has written articles on mental health issues not to have brought it up publicly earlier?. Though, she does mention that she was able to deal with this issue only in 2012 during couples counseling. But why didn’t she write about it or discuss the matter publicly post-therapy?
Being a professional, surely she should have known that suppressing abuse is bad for healing. I know personally, how therapeutic airing out sexual abuse experiences can be.
The Right Time To Tell The Truth
Most of us victims know what it is to have gone through surviving a sexual attack. And, in 1982 sexual abuse was not at all openly spoken about. I am the same age as Christine Ford and quite understand her reticence about sharing her abuse then. You were afraid of the consequences, of being blamed and being judged,
However, bringing up the matter now when the Kavanaugh is all set to becoming Judge in the Supreme Court, seems a little off.
He was in public office earlier. Why did she not bring forth her accusations when he served as an attorney alongside Special Prosecutor Ken Starr during the investigation which eventually led to Clinton’s impeachment in the 1990’s.
Accusing Kavanaugh during the Clinton trial would have been more appropriate and credible. That given Kavanaugh’s own abusive past, he is not the right person to be involved in the Clinton debacle.
Believing the Victims’ Stories
Christine Ford’s reasons for keeping quiet then seems suspect. Her accusations now have the stench of a political agenda.
Sadly, the ones who suffer from these schemings and plottings are the poor victims. Those of us who don’t have the money to fight or go into therapy.
Whichever way the balance tips – in Judge Kavanaugh’s favor or Dr. Ford’s, the world will always be skeptical of any victim who accuses without any proof of tangible evidence.
Oh, how I hate what politics has done for the real victims of sexual abuse. No one will believe us now.