Healing Means – Not Giving a Damn/F**k No longer Caring About the Opinions, Moods of Others is Healing

After years of being so tuned to every nuance, tone, word, and action of others, I am slowly beginning to feel free of the expectations of others. I am no longer hyper-vigilant. I don’t feel bad, sad, or mad at people for very long. The duration for being hurt, fearful or angry gets less.

Not Giving a Damn/F**k
No longer being dependent on other people’s approval or acceptance is healing

Gradually, the moods and behaviors of others have no bearing on my sense of self. As my sense of who I am is getting stronger, I no longer feel guilty about honoring my needs and feelings. Healing for me has meant no longer giving a damn about people’s opinions or expectations. Understanding Don Miguel’s agreements have been crucial to my healing from the past.

Don Miguel’s 2nd and 3rd Agreement:

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Steps To Mental Health

Nonetheless, the steps to being mentally healthy are knowing that each one is different, but I am not going to suppress my uniqueness to satisfy another person’s warped perceptions. I feel brave and strong to stand for who I am.  I may be filled with doubt, but I still trust my soul’s direction.

Rudyard Kipling’s poem IF... lucidly elucidates the state of being a mentally healthy and strong person.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

Every time I feel a little lost in the treacherous pitfalls of being a puppet, pulled by the strings of rejection, invalidation, and non-acceptance, I go back to this poem for strength and inspiration. It is important to read inspiring words, listen to inspiring songs, and watch inspiring movies that show us how to stand up for ourselves and move forward.


So get out of my way.
Let me by I got better things to do with my time
I don’t care anymore D’you hear?
Don’t care anymore
I don’t care no more You listening?
Don’t care no more
No more!

When one talks of recovery from the past and post-traumatic growth, the single most important aspect of healing and becoming whole are not being affected by the outside world. One’s inner locus is fixed at a point of unconditional acceptance of our true self. We can agree, disagree, accept, or not accept, we don’t have to change like chameleons to blend with the outside environment.

Like Rhett Butler in the movie Gone with the Wind, I can truly say “ Frankly, my dear I don’t give a damn”, what do you think of me. I like being ME.

Image Source: Pixabay

Further Reading:

HOW TO TAKE REVENGE ON A NARCISSIST: Take your power back by using the secret techniques of emotional manipulators – against them –  Leyla Loric,  Richard Grannon 

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